W/w by Sarah Long - read an extract

We present an extract from W/w, the new novella by Sarah Long.

W/w follows the trials and triumphs of Mary, an aspiring artist and writer, in conflict with the world around her. Confined to the porch of her family home, Mary's consciousness searches for a new form, a larger space, to occupy. As the prose progresses, Mary adopts new personas before coming to the startling realisation that she is Mother Ireland.

GIRL paints on the floor in the glass porch. Sound of headphones–faintly distinguishable "Beautiful Boy" by John Lennon.

Why did I refer to myself as girl there? This was last year. Last summer. I was 25. 25 surely means I'm a WOMAN, right? Google tells me that while different countries have different laws, 18 years of age is considered to be when you become an adult. WOMAN paints on the floor. I don’t think I’ve ever described myself as a WOMAN before. Unless, I’ve had to tick a box on a form–and as a rule, I try to avoid ticking boxes on forms where possible. Usually, these forms make you say f e m a l e not WOMAN anyway. I imagine a WOMAN to be a much curvier thing than me–a thing with breasts and children. f e m a l e seems to take a different form in my imagination. When I say f e m a l e I am ticking the box to simply say 'yes, I am a little soft’. When I tick the box to say f e m a l e on a form it is a mark to say ‘yes, I am a little soft and somehow still here’.

Let’s take this from the start.

FEMALE paints on the floor. I guess I should explain why I am on the floor painting in the porch. Well, not so much why I am on the floor as I am quite often on the floor when I am painting. That’s not really what I want to explain but now I feel as though I owe you some kind of explanation for that too. FEMALE gets to her feet, stands and stares at the wet canvas with a reproachful look. I don’t really like talking about my process though because sometimes, a lot of the time, I don’t know what I’m doing–until I’ve

done it–and that makes me feel like a Bad Artist. I really struggled with the label artist. I would navigate it in college by saying I was studying Fine Art. I wasn’t claiming anything. I was just stating the facts. I wasn’t getting too big for my boots. I was studying Fine Art. People would often think I’d said Finance and say things with quite a surprised and accusatory tone, like, ‘You must be good at Maths?’ and even though I knew where the confusion lay, I would just say, ‘Actually you don’t need them’ and walk away just to add to the confusion, because I enjoy that sort of thing. I really do.

ARTIST picks up canvas and props it against the window. Squatting, the artist stares deeply at the work-in-progress. And I also really enjoy working flat on the floor. Usually, because I work quite big and I can splay my body out and lie prostrate. I can get real close to the canvas and make marks with pointed precision–or, I can stand up and let the paint pour and spill down below. Artists though, like Real Artists, say things like, ‘it’s all there in the painting, stop talking to me!’–but you can’t get away with that anymore. I’m always explaining myself and ticking boxes on forms, wearing the shoes of an E-m-e-r-g-i-n-g artist. Writing these shitty 100-word artist statements doesn’t make me feel like a Real Artist though. I’m just reminded that when I talk about my work, I still use all the phrases that an Artnet article by Ben Davis told us to ditch way back in 2015. Pretty much all I do is ‘explore’, ‘investigate’ and ‘interrogate’ and other vague verbs.

ARTIST continues to squat with a confused look. Anyway, I was in the middle of explaining things...Why am I on the porch floor of my family home? Because it is lockdown and I had to leave my studio in March. We don’t have any visitors at the moment, so my mother let me lock the front door forcing us all to use the back door as the only entrance–and I work within the 1.5m x 2.5m porch. It’s the best light I have ever had in a studio. I’m working in a glass box in the height of summer. However, I’m out here now in the dark. ARTIST takes the painting, places it on the floor, lies on their belly and begins to draw intricate lines on the canvas that follow the outline of forms and marks. I’m out here in the dark because I was motivated by the John Lennon film–Nowhere Boy. I went straight to the porch to just get on with things. It was one of those artistic-genius-films that left you feeling beautifully motivated and invigorated and is almost a call to arms.

W/w is published by Bloomers - find out more here.

About The Author: Sarah Long is an artist and writer based in Cork. Her work focuses on suppressed female archetypes, the politics of representation, nationhood, and myth through the lens of feminism. Her practice involves painting and expands into the mediums of writing, sound, moving image, and performance.